Alright ladies, we need to talk! Specifically about love! The good kind, the healthy kind. Not the "I lost myself in this relationship, and I have no clue what I like anymore other than his football team" kind. 

If you’ve read Part 1 (and if not, go do that, I’ll wait), we covered self-love, boundaries, and knowing your worth—aka, the non-negotiables. Now, let’s talk about what happens when you actually start a relationship. Because, let’s be honest, new love is a trip.

One minute, you’re all, "I’ve never met anyone like him!" The next, you’re rethinking your entire personality because he likes hiking, and you suddenly feel the need to pretend that sweating up a mountain for fun is totally your vibe. And now you are contemplating praying for patience, even thought you know not to request that of God because he will continue to test you until you pass that test. 

Listen—healthy love does not require a personality transplant. So, let’s lay down three more foundations: Open Communication, Mutual Respect & Support, and the ever-tricky Independence vs. Interdependence.

1. Open Communication: If He Can’t Read Your Mind, It’s Not a Red Flag

First things first: you've gotta say what you mean and mean what you say. Because saying "I’m fine" when you’re clearly not fine is how tiny relationship problems grow into epic misunderstandings.

Let’s be real—we love a man who pays attention. But expecting him to telepathically pick up on our emotions? That’s not love, that’s witchcraft. And last I checked, God did not call us to be sorceresses.

Healthy communication means:

• Saying what you actually feel (instead of expecting him to “just know” why you’re mad).
• Listening to understand, not just waiting for your turn to talk (harder than it sounds).
• Talking about the small things before they become big things (so you don’t end up rage-texting at 2 AM because he "forgot" your dog’s birthday).

Oh, and let’s not forget—the way you talk to each other matters. Sarcasm is fun (obviously), but if your "jokes" are just insults wearing party hats, you’re headed for trouble.

Bottom line: Say what you mean, but say it with love. Your future self will thank you.

2. Mutual Respect & Support: You’re His Partner, Not His Life Coach

This one is crucial. You know what’s not cute? Being his unpaid therapist, motivational speaker, and emotional support human.

Yes, relationships are about supporting each other, but they are not about fixing each other. If you find yourself constantly "teaching" him how to be a decent person (aka, reminding him that basic hygiene, paying bills on time and emotional intelligence exist), you’re not in love—you’re in a self-imposed internship for his personal growth.

Mutual Respect in a relationship looks like:

• Valuing each other’s opinions, even when you disagree. (He thinks pineapple belongs on pizza? Tragic, but survivable.)
• Supporting each other’s goals and dreams. (Unless his "dream" is becoming a full-time couch potato. Then we need a different conversation.)
• Not keeping score. (Healthy love isn’t about tracking who did more dishes—it’s about teamwork, baby.) 

And here’s a big one: Respect yourself enough to walk away if you’re not getting the respect you deserve. If he treats you like an emotional Airbnb—only showing up when he needs a safe space but never taking care of the place—girl, eviction notice time.

3. Independence & Interdependence: Please, For the Love of God, Keep Your Own Hobbies

Let me paint a picture: You meet someone new, you fall madly in love, and suddenly, you’re doing everything together. His interests are your interests. His schedule is your schedule. His friends are your friends. You spend all the holidays with HIS family. His personality is now your personality.

Girl. No. We do not do that here.

Healthy love requires balance—a mix of "I love doing life with you" and "I also love my own life."

Red flag warnings you might be losing your own identity in a relationship:

• You haven’t seen your friends in weeks because you’re always with him.
• You’ve abandoned your own hobbies in favor of his.
• You feel guilty for doing things without him.
• You feel the need to run every decision by him before committing to it. (Paper or plastic? Soup or salad? Red dress or black dress?)

Now, this doesn’t mean you have to be totally independent (aka, living like two strangers who just happen to share a Netflix account). It just means you need a healthy mix of togetherness and personal space. 

Independence = Having your own identity, goals, and interests.
Interdependence = Being able to rely on each other without losing yourselves.

When done right, this balance is magic. You’re two whole people coming together—not two halves desperately trying to become one (because newsflash: that’s not romance, that’s codependency).

Final Thoughts: Love That Doesn’t Make You Lose Yourself

Here’s the truth: Healthy love lets you breathe. It makes you feel safe, heard, and supported—NOT like you’re constantly walking on eggshells.

If you’ve ever found yourself shrinking in a relationship—playing small, ignoring red flags, or over-explaining your worth—it’s time to change the pattern.

Struggling with boundaries in new relationships? My life coaching program will help you break free from toxic cycles. Let’s rewrite your love story.

Not ready for coaching but want a guide? Order Setting Boundaries with Faith & Love on Kindle, or grab the paperback available TOMORROW!

Because you, my dear, deserve love that makes you feel free—not trapped.